It has become a norm in our culture to externalize our personal and cultural issues. It is very rare that we point to ourselves as the source of our own issues. This is a phenomenon that is recent in our culture. In the ancient days, men and women hold themselves accountable for their own thoughts and behaviours. A majority of our problems at the personal level is due to the fact of no accountability and responsibility towards the situation that had occurred. We have become masters of deflection and projection. We are quick to see the imperfection and defects in another person but rarely shine a light on our imperfections. Because it is a lot easier to bully someone else than to feel the heat of your own issues.
This deflection and projection have no boundaries in our community and personal lives. We seem to do everything to avoid facing the harsh reality that awaits us within. There’s a world on the inside waiting for us to acknowledge, nourish, validate and listen to it. This inner reality is the source of the external reality. The events, circumstances, people and many other external experiences that we had or will experience are a result of that inner reality. Due to the collective trauma, we have faced as a whole, the light and power of the inner world have become dimmed. We have to make conscious efforts to heed to the world within.
We are not meant to suffer from life. But when there’s dysfunction from within it becomes the norm and the ultimate reality. The toxicity we experience can have an end if we are willing to face our own inner demons. There’s no shame in our suffering. It is understandable given our collective history and traumas. We are not defined by these negative experiences, we define them and give them the power they hold over us. By allowing ourselves to go within, we take power back from the negative experiences.
We must take heed of our experiences personally and collectively. Because of this reality, we should not judge others and most importantly ourselves. Gently and lightly we should approach our wounds and many traumas. Healing is not linear or instant but it is a process. It is a process that requires time, non-judgment, gentleness, tenderness, understanding and complete acceptance of where you are. Because there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
University of Calgary
Author, poet, model and social entrepreneur and Live in Calgary, Canada