Ladies Too…Can Say I Love You

In Relationships by Ramciel Managing EditorLeave a Comment

Did you ever fall in love? Have you ever seen this gorgeous-handsome guy and his marvelous face glued to your mind! When you saw a guy and immediately your heart starts beating so warmly, lady … you are invited by a beautiful friend called love!  

Love can take place anywhere and everywhere. You can fall in love with anyone, anytime. You saw him at the movie theatre right, along the street perhaps, in the award-winning concerts, or in a class lectures session, at the weekend party galore … wait a minute, you might have seen him in the public transport and that got you thinking!  You look at him, then you start imagining. Wow! This guy! This handsome-gorgeous guy. You can’t afford to turn your eyes off him, can you? All your mind wanted to know is to look at him, keep staring at him, just a little longer.

Love is not an act … it is a feeling. Where is it written in the Bible or Quran that it is a duty of a man to say I love you? I guess not. If I am wrong, then prove me wrong!  Ladies, when you saw a guy, a handsome guy, and your heart melt and you just can’t help it but say a word to him … then, I say, why not ask for his name. It is not a crime to ask for his names.  Many ladies die softly and silently with their feelings. Are you afraid to talk to him? Don’t you think, if he was the one in your shoe, he would have taken a bold decision to ask you? I don’t know, the ball is in your hands.

Who is a Responsible Man?

Not all men are responsible. A responsible man, is this kind of a man who is open, understanding, respectful, kind, honest, faithful and above all, listen to you if not all the times but at least sometimes.  In South Sudan, most men are adhering to the norms and culture of African traditions. These customs suggest that woman has no rights to order and ask a man to assist in kitchen affairs. A woman cannot ask a guy to wash her clothes or cook in the house.   The studies suggest that South Sudanese men (not all of them) are strict and rigid when coming to rules of the house.  The belief that women belong to the kitchen and men to bring food and offer protection to the family, is just a mere belief.  A lady has no rights to ask his man where he came from though it’s late in the night it is quite easy for a man to do that. Ladies are meant to be in the house and in the kitchen, period!

You are a man until you have your own house. You are not a man when you can barely feed yourself. How possible then can you bring a daughter of somebody into your life and straight into your cartoonist room? A man should think twice before he decides to bring a lady into his life.   I know love cannot accept to decline a proposal of a handsome guy. This guy has nothing. He has no job, has no house, has no manners but this handsome-cute looking guy can just kill a lady softly and tenderly!

What does love really means!

eople say love is blind. But I clearly disagree with that phrase. Listen, “Professor love has big compound eyes” trust me, ladies, doctor love can see very clear and well. Why do you look at a man and your mind tells you that he is the right guy for you? You know a ugly guy right! If he comes to you and proposes, would you accept him? I bet you will reject “his low-ass request.”  You are looking for what your heart desires but sometimes your mind and body needs something different.  This guy is kind and loyal to you but he has no job and money. Many ladies go for a handsome guy or a rich guy, it is true. Go for him if that is what your heart is telling you.  There is no short-cut to love but what I do know is that love is patient, love is kind, love is humble and above all, love is jealous. If you are not jealous of your man, then don’t lie to us, you don’t love him, you only want to use him and his money.

You will find a respectful and loyal man but he has nothing(broke), you get an educated man but he doesn’t respect you, you find a handsome man, he is a player, you find a serious man, he always argues with you and when you find a responsible man, he judges you for being too much educated. What then, with all these mess and silly confusions, you may ask!  Don’t worry! Love is really patient and with time, you will find your loves, one baby. Don’t rush. Love is not like driving a hammer or Jeep vehicles. It is not like being in paradise or a pool of chocolates.  Love is feelings. Love is caring for one another. Love is to be there for someone whenever needs are. Love is respecting the feelings and ideas of another person. Love is a special gift from heaven!

Dating and Waiting …

It is always advisable to dates and waits. There is no harm in dating as you wait for the right time to come. Rushing into something has never been a good idea, to begin with. Taking things slow but sure is a true game of love. Love is like playing cards. If you get the right man at the right time, then you got it all but when you messed it up, then you lost it all.  The maximum time to date a guy is at least six months or more depending on how things go. If he is a prince-charming, and you are heavenly crazy of him, why not hook to him. Care for him, understand him, believe in him but be careful not to be taken for “an ass-hole” kind of a lady.

Dating is the right thing to do. When you want to know more about a guy, date him. Take your time and study him. By the time you are done studying him, be assured to get a graduation certificate. I mean your feelings are satisfied to the core!  So the certificate I meant here is the right answer to the research you made in acquiring your man. That certificate is called “certificate of excellence in love”

While dating, do not keep any secret from your man. Be open. Say things straight. Ask questions to understand who your man really is. As Steve Harvey said, if this man is a keeper, he will introduce you to the most important people in his life but if he wants to play with you, then he takes less measures to solve issues pertaining your relationship.  Understands what your man desires most. What are his likes and don’ts? Bring to light what he loves most. It takes short time to understand what your man needs are. After knowing all of his needs, then it is time to play it cool … ladies!!!

Many relationships take times to get mature. When a relationship is young, it needs care, understanding, and patients. It is like a young tree that needs to be watered every morning and evening. If you forget to water the seedlings, it will shrivel and soon dies.  Love too is just the same to a seedling that needs maximum care and attention every time. So in reality, it is not a duty of a man to say “I love you … ladies too can say I love you”

Peter Okello has a Bachelor Degree in International Relation and Human at University of Pretoria, South Africa, Former chairman of South Sudanese Journalists Union in Kenya (SSJUK), former Sub-editor for the refugee magazine – FilmAid International, regional reporter for the DW, former production manager of Jonglei Public Radio – Jonglei State, Senior reporter at The Dawn Newspaper and Human Right Activist. You can reach him via his email: Okello Peter

The opinion expressed here is solely the view of the writer. The veracity of any claim made is the responsibility of the author, not PaanLuel Wël: South Sudanese Bloggers (SSB) website. If you want to submit an opinion article or news analysis, please email it to SSB do reserve the right to edit material before publication. Please include your full name, email address and the country you are writing from.


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